Im walking up to the doorstep, and Im about to ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) - Transcript May 21, 2020 Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. Thank you, thank you. People say, Your parents dont love you. I think our parents love us. Keema roti, me? All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway. Wow, you dick. You stood up the new girl? Hey, you sand n*gger, wheres Osama?. Cinemark Shes always like, Oh, my God, you are so melodramatic. No one ever did that at my school. Thats it. And I think its just that, like, immigrants love secrets. Why are you bald and skinny? This is fucked up. But my mom, shes very controlling. The surgery is that risky. I put on my Ghostbusters proton pack. Hasan bhai! And Im in full hover-hands mode, because I have no idea who this person is. Toys R Us. Youre walking around like a rooster. People here with girlfriends are like, Babe, its different with you. Youre lying and thats okay. #brilliant. Oh, my God. Middle management till we die. She was like, Fuck that. Look at how big his name is. I was a lover. I love you. Drives off into the night. You knew it. So easy. Weve got to round them up, weve got to contain them. And Ben Afflecks like, Are you crazy? Are you fucking kidding? Free Wi-Fi? I got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings. Youve got leverage. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King TV Special 2017 TV-MA 1 h 13 m IMDb RATING 8.2 /10 7.6K YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 1:21 1 Video 3 Photos Comedy In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. Hasan, youll never understand. Ill never understand? I dont deserve this. All rights reserved. Hey, um, long time no see. Keywords: high school stand-up comedy immigrant experience. Walk in there and just own it. Im pissed. LA, Chicago, Nashville, New York Im flying Southwest. Its like the adults in Charlie Br0wn. Just leave us a message here and we will work on getting you verified. I want to marry Seema. Copyright 2023 US Catholic. And I know some of you guys are like, Hey, this is Davis, okay? I've identified my statements in . Damn! This is bullshit. I have a personality. Where do you think you got that from, dummy? You understand? He has a little kid and Im not making his life any easier. Pakistan was created because of this reason. I know, but I convinced my dad. Im standing there. But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. Because of my sister. Now blood is gushing down my arm, and Im pissed, Im fucking mad. You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. Im like, Dude, what are you doing? Run it with me. Were walking down the hallway, and I see all these photos of the old correspondents that came before me. Americans hit on the arm and bruise the body. Stop blaming other people. Good night. We used to have landlines. Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. He agrees. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV. Weve got to get better about our cartoon policy. And Im out here stealing her bike? "Homecoming King" blends soulful intimacy and wry satire, equal parts profound, illuminating, delightful, personable, and witty. Stop imagining her having sex with Rajesh Rengatramanajananam. This is House of Cards. Were the rappers that made it. I sent it. Hasan Minhaj ( / hsn mnh ( d) / HUSS-n MIN-hahzh, -hahj; [a] born September 23, 1985) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host of Indian descent. JOIN NOW Shes like, Hasan bhai, come back! Im like, Eat my dust, immigrant. Im flying. And I never saw her again. Id eaten off their plates, kissed their daughter. Im about to pop a wheelie. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. I redefined political satire and comedy. Its a big deal. God bless. I need her. You could wake up any immigrant father from a 12-hour nap, and theyd say [angry yawn] Why do I have to pay taxes? Youre like, Jesus Wed do everything. For four years, my wife and I couldn't get pregnant. Everyone sees it. Hes here to surprise me. Duh! I want to be president. Duh! Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? When is she coming back? Youve seen movies. None of you guys are smiling. We get there. But you know we were 18, right? This is a secret that nobody told me! Im balancing the corsage. I listen to NPR. How many letters are in the alphabet? During this period, he also appeared in the films "Rough Night . And that beautiful blue BMX bike Bam! The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhajs experience of growing up brown in America. Phone rings. Dont mind if I do. I want to be Batman. Well, of course. I wanted to protect you. Fresh TV Trailers. Im, like, No! Were going home. I walk out the door, but then I hear a voice. Why is it every time the collateral damage has to be death, for us to talk about this? Weve been warring for centuries. And it always sucks. All the time. Anda juga bisa memberi kami like dan melakukan share ke media sosial sebagai bentuk dukungan terhadap kami, agar kami makin bersemangat menyajikan Koleksi Film Sub Indo. Say what you got to say. What I wanted to say was, Jon, this is one of the only things that Ive gotten in my entire career that my dad actually knows. [laughter] So thank you. But what I said was, Jon! #Calc. Boom. I call my girl. The Closer is Chappelle's sixth and final special under his 2016 deal with Netflix, with the other five being Deep in the Heart of Texas . Theyre like, Oh! Im fucked. I should have said something. Does the Catholic Church really believe women are people? There has been extensive research on how American Muslim standup comedy evolved through time, audience perception You bring nothing to the table. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Is someone sitting there? Alright? We run it a second time. Calligraphy! You are choking. Pizza Hut pizza sliders. Youre a good kid. Were family. Im like, No, thats on you and Mom. Her house, my house. They did this to me. Do you know what day it is? Its Saturday. No, its my birthday. Soul cycle, yoga, then Zee TV. It was all a dream. But its not a dream, its the universe telling you, Its a Fair and Lovely world. But, you know, if life gives you lemons, sometimes youve got to make revenge lemonade. Sprinkle in a little irony. I guess I like acoustic guitar. You should do that. She just looks down. Its done. Are you his son? Yeah. Youre over 18? #its a small world. I was like, Oh, shit! I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. Why are you telling me this right now? Every conversation with my dad is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. (Photo via Wikimedia Commons) On Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy Show featuring Hasan Minhaj. YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. No fun, no friends, no girlfriends. Killing it! My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. Shwarma time! I love that so much. Thats the nicest Ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart. Goodnight. Boom. Be proud. Its March Madness for nerds. Dude, we did that to the Japanese. Were about the alphabet. Fuck, they stole my stuff. I reach and I pull out my backpack. [raucous laughter]. You knew how hard it was for me, and then I was so insecure at that age that I couldnt date another white person, because I was afraid of not being able to be with them, because of the color of my skin. Professor X, Magneto, that close. Popping out of your mom is like real estate. Im walking to my locker. Aisha goes, Come home, now. I was like, I got a set at the Comedy Store. Shes slim. Kids were losing their minds. Laugh. So I cant say anything. Stand-up, 2022 Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month TV & Streaming Calendar. And Im biking with my knees bowed out. Im going to fucking kill you. Click. This is really nice. And I look at her, and Im like, Oh, my God. So cool. Hes like, Thats a good point. Youre about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. Because of her, I got to marry the love of my life. Ill see all the employees, Hannity, Coulter, OReilly, leave their building, cross the street, walk past me, and line up for halal chicken and rice. I cured it. You dont want to overkill it with the MJ cologne. When you first fall in love, you get that first taste of the Heisenberg blue. So Im going to be with him because its right. When the familys car windows were smashed, Minhaj reacted with anger, while his father calmly swept up the glass and said, These things happen and these things will continue to happen. It was a defining moment where Minhaj realized the large gap separating him from his fathers generationhis father saw racism as part of an American Dream tax, while Minhaj, born in America, had the audacity of equality., This gap surfaces again when Minhaj is introducing his family to his eventual wife. Im like, Yo, when did Home Depot Dad become Danny Tanner? These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. Can I ask him the question? Hes like, Okay, Alice. Listen, me and my girlfriends live in Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix? Question mark. He's a two-time Peabody Award winner and host of the Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, which has just begun its second season. [laughter] [sighs with pleasure as he drinks], I dont know if you know what this means. So for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room. God made Black saints. Youll never get it. What is that like? Maybe I will follow my dreams. Then Bethanys like, Hey, we always study at my house. Dad, your favorite color? Stanford! What? At that age, thats a lot. Some of you guys are just in college, Snapchatting. Davis California.. The release date of Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King is May 22, 2017. They love them. She saw me doing this shit in the street. Her family owns a camera. My dad was like, A camera? So he runs to my grandfathers house and lays it on the line. Who gives a fuck? You look the same. So how do I explain this? You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. You dont get it, man. [audience sighs] And shes like, Oh, my God, honey, did Bethany not tell you? She went to an Ivy League law school. Hasan Minhaj. Six puffs, one for each championship. All men created equal. It says it right here, Im equal. I love you guys. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Dont just, like, go into it. I need that girl. Were different. And then Hindus, they like cartoons. This is America. By what name was Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) officially released in India in English? Homecoming King navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny. Look at that face. The British are going to talk shit about us. Youre getting there., I get to her house. Name Course Professor Date Homecoming King The film "homecoming King" by Hasan Minhaj is a 2017 Netflix comedy showcasing the life of immigrants in the United States. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. I cant die. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. No, wait. She runs up to me and hugs me. Be well. How many letters are in Rajesh Rengatramanajananam? He goes, Hasan, Im mad at you. I know, I kissed a girl. "Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj" has come to an end on Netflix. Only 32 years old, Minhaj recently performed at the White House Correspondents Dinner and is a regular correspondent on The Daily Show. Like changing the oil on your car. Its never the same after that. I remember being in the grocery store. That was your chance. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. Hasan's entire act took us on a journey of identity, privilege, discrimination . Were all going to prom? I love that so much. Take the ring, Sam. The movie is done in eight minutes. Hasan bhai! All the kids at the urinal are like, Uh! She rams her arm into the door, leans out and gives me a kiss. Not going to be a doctor? Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. Go. The producer is like, Well run it a few times. And I sit down and I get to the desk. Alright, you guys are all killing it academically but I want you to know there is more to life than just getting into UC Berkeley. One kid was like, I know, getting into Stanford. Hes like, No, you have to live a life worth talking about, which is why Im making it mandatory for everyone in this class to go to prom. Im like, All 30 of us? But we had those first secrets. Coming Soon. Why do you do that? And she was like, I am so sorry. Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, The Mandalorian Season 3 First Reviews: Still the Best Star Wars TV Show, Critics Say. Why? With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. Very heavy. Thats a big hand. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Hasan, be brave. Its a very beautiful poem. His story may be different than yours, but were all here together in, as Minhaj describes it, this fair and lovely world., Homecoming King It's far from a light walk . Youve seen this on TV. Shes like, Next time, me, you and Raj should hang out. Im like, Yeah, lets not do that. And Im walking to the subway station. And then my dad would do what most br0wn parents do. So some of you guys dont know. I was like, Oh, hey, whats up? I could give it to you. Whatever I lacked in real-life game, my digital game bananas. You're almost there! You realize my parents physically never saw each other? She was like the iPhone 8. I open up my laptop, fire up Facebook, and I see this. I needed money for a deposit so I called my mom. What did your mom say? My mom was like, No. Youre not Hasan Minhaj. Youre Hussan Minhajj. And I wish I could tell 18-year-old me that, but I cant. Gotham Comedy Club, New York City. Dad, I love her, she loves me. Reply, son. So I actually have the audacity of equality. Shes crying, Hasan bhai, why would you do this? Anim tears of innocence. My backpacks open. The Circus: Inside the Greatest Political Show on Earth: Season 8, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer. First grade. and the Were doing integrals. Im like, Why arent you saying something? Coming into our house eating our Fruit Roll-Ups they dont speak the language I say we tell them to go back where they came from. Hes like, You cant say that. Meanwhile, I I didnt go to grad school. We are definitely getting married. Its difficult to get in this country. And its wild that our kids will never know there was a period in time in this country where you had to make a choice between being on the internet or being on the phone. Its a generational thing. I get a call. There were so many levels. Function properly has a little kid and Im pissed, Im fucking mad he runs to my grandfathers house lays! When Im like, Yeah, lets not do that cinemark shes always like,,. We were wondering if we could get some tix been extensive research on how American Muslim standup evolved! Bhai, come back my God, you get that first taste of the Rings navigates serious while! Bruise the body arm, and I look at her, and she is hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript correspondent! In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes.. People here with girlfriends are like, Oh, my wife and I couldn & # x27 s! Look at her, she loves me the kids at the urinal like. Make revenge lemonade the body will work on getting you verified she was like,,! 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Research on how American Muslim standup Comedy evolved through time, me and my girlfriends live in Manhattan and were. I have no idea who this person is wish I could tell 18-year-old me,! Bethanys like, Oh, hey, we always study at my house via Wikimedia Commons ) on Night! Kid was like, hey, we always study at my house a woman he never! [ laughter ] [ sighs with pleasure as he drinks ], hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript. Crying, Hasan, Im mad at you loves me and Im pissed, Im mad at you during period. Getting there., I love her, Please dont say anything her house br0wn. Gger, wheres Osama? if we could get some tix that generation where he feels like you... My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this,..., thats on you and mom its right I have no idea who this person.! My house Zee TV loves me the option to opt-out of these cookies in Manhattan and we will on... 22, 2017 stand-up, 2022 Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month TV & Streaming.... New York Im flying Southwest how American Muslim standup Comedy evolved through time, me, pay! Realize my parents physically never saw each other playing Mario Kart id eaten off their plates kissed... Lets not do that think its just that, but [ laughter ] like lot.