Its often the negativity of others that drag you down too. If you dont feel confident now, you might think that youll never learn to stand up for yourself. ", Unlock expert answers by supporting wikiHow, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/confidence, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-choice/201704/7-tips-setting-achievable-goals, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201909/four-simple-ways-develop-more-positive-attitude, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5068479/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/assertiveness, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-matters-menninger/202111/the-power-saying-no, https://www.cnbc.com/2016/09/14/7-body-language-tricks-to-exude-confidence.html, https://www.nytimes.com/guides/year-of-living-better/how-to-stand-up-for-yourself, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/no-more-regrets/201101/want-be-happier-steer-clear-toxic-people, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/is-psychology-making-us-sick/201605/do-you-know-how-defend-yourself, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201209/how-and-how-not-stand-yourself, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_stop_passive_aggression_from_ruining_your_relationship. You should try to be positive and dont let other people get you down. Doing so helps to create a fairer and more equitable society where everyone can be heard, respected and celebrated. % of people told us that this article helped them. It can be very attractive to stand up for yourself. Discover the meaning of adversity and how to overcome it, with examples. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. Its natural to worry that accepting and advocating your needs over those of others may cause relationship issues, but this doesnt have to be the case. Saying no might initially feel uncomfortable and may cause a shocked or confused reaction in people who are used to walking over you. Additionally, any certifications, awards, or other notable achievements will help demonstrate your expertise and make your skills stand out. Make the choice to feel and have a positive attitude and you're on your way to standing up for yourself. 352 Likes, 21 Comments - Bilal Habib Photographer (@bilalhabib_photographer) on Instagram: Stand up for Yourself Even if No one Else Feb. 28 2023, Published 4:01 p.m. In fact, it is a necessary component of maintaining a healthy and positive relationship dynamic. It doesn't have to be in the blink of an eye; it can be when you're good and ready. Below we have outlined some key assertiveness skills to help you become more confident and self-assured in whatever situation in which you find yourself. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. Could you please make me another?" Take careful consideration of where and Remember that attitude is infectious. Theres no reason you can't receive respect from your coworkers, friends, family, and partners. "I always try to make people happy, and when I don't do that I get put down. How do you respectfully stand up for yourself? Understand that self-assertion is not aggression. Youre under no obligation to respond to what people say when it comes out of their mouths. I need you to take my point of view and feelings into account. When you trim yourself down to suit everyone else, it can all be too easy to whittle yourself away; learning to stand up for yourself is a way of ensuring other people respect you and don't try to push you around or manipulate you. Have confidence. If you want to get better at standing up for yourself, be patient. With greater confidence comes a greater ability to stand up for ourselves, which creates more confidence, and so on. Respectfully standing up for yourself can be difficult, but it is important to ensure that you voice your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. If someone claims you're bossy, rather than letting it cause you to shrink some more, take this as evidence that you're a natural. Just be yourself. Making time for your own needs and wants is essential to living a balanced and fulfilling life. Do you find that people seem to push you around or make choices on your behalf? The mutual goodwill requisite for resolving differences is missing in action. If we dont learn to stand up for ourselves, people are more likely to take advantage of us. Don't hesitate to look out for your mental health and say no when you need to. It is absolutely okay to put yourself first before others. Ironically, though, individuals who are more aggressive than assertive similarly wind up feeling cut off from others, despite being much better at getting others to do their bidding. Rejection hurts, but it doesnt have to derail you. It takes practice. 1. WebOnce you stand up against adversity, it gives you a different perspective about yourself and your personality. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. Don't worry about people who find the more assertive you confronting; you can always suggest things they can do to help themselves but you don't need to explain yourself, apologize, or stay glued to them. Once these moments pass and are resolved, you can learn a lot from your actions. Taking a few deep breaths, or even taking a break from the situation altogether can give you the opportunity to take some time for yourself and regroup. 19 March 2020. View on-demand BetterUp events and learn about upcoming live discussions. Try to stand up for your own needs and take a positive approach to each morning. Additionally, when we stand up for ourselves, it is typically when someone else has wronged us or challenged us in some way, so our mind and body are both grappling with the dilemma of whether or not to fight or flee. Just be yourself. Giving your time and energy to people is great, but dont overdo it. If you'r We're on a mission to help everyone live with clarity, purpose, and passion. Be consistent in your approach. Might it be enough simply to say that since your backgrounds and life experiences differ, its only natural that you wouldnt see eye-to-eye on this matter? Use transparent communication methods. It's your life; keep standing up for yourself! youre more likely to think youre being too assertive, As you learn how to stand up for yourself and use your voice, you'll start to. 2. Situations can come and go when you need to stand up for yourself. This is not the wisest choice. Thus, to be assertive toward others, the first step is to improve your self-awareness. | Here's a quick list of common examples of when you should stand up for yourself: Hopefully, these tips will help you understand how to stand up for yourself next time you need to. Whatever your circumstances are, you can always benefit by being more assertive, confident and not tolerating others attempts to walk all over you. You can defeat them, no matter what they say. . Be yourself. And that that point, it won't even make you feel uncomfortable anymore. WebWhat does "stand up for yourself" mean? Using open body language shows people that you are self-assured, confident and not to be messed with. Pick Your Place And Time. Sometimes, when we feel powerful emotions like anger and frustration, we dont have the ability to express them in healthy ways or give ourselves permission to act on them. People will grow to expect that the person you are now is a person who stands up for himself. Skills that stand out are those that are in high demand, transferable, and meaningful to the specific job for which you are applying. Negative body language hinders effective communication. Research shows that manager support is the most effective way to inspire well-being improvement in the workplace. Standing up for yourself is a skill, and just like any other skill, it can be learned, developed, and improved upon. 3. Do you struggle to stand up for yourself? ", helped me realize how to look assertive and not show fear. For example, lets say that you have a boss at your job who is unfair to you. Maybe the waiter gets your order wrong, someone cuts you off in line, or a coworker takes credit for your work. Put on the timer for about 2 minutes and respond away! Plus, you can feel proud of yourself for meeting conflict head-on. Think of it as assertiveness training. In this highly charged emotional time, tears can be one of our most powerful tools in helping us to maintain our boundaries while still expressing ourselves in a healthy way. Best practices, research, and tools to fuel individual and business growth. They said that. Eat whatever you want doesnt sound like much of a diet, but it can change your life. The more times you do it, the easier it will be when you're in difficult situations. Over the years, weve watched Malaysia as a wife and mother to If they choose to ignore our boundaries, they already know that there will be a consequence. sticking to your guns. instructive B. attractive C. beneficial D. influential 66. If youre faced with a confrontation and need to stand up for yourself, its important to stay calm and grounded. This article helped me see that I'm important and special, and my self esteem should show that. Do you struggle with assertiveness and confidence? Yet standing up for yourself in what seem like small incidents can matter for how you feel about yourself and even how others perceive you. If you feel that you are putting too much of yourself on the line, its best to step back and reassess whats best for you. In this article, well explore why its so important to stand up for yourself. Any advice on how to not care about what others think? if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'coalitionbrewing_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',152,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-coalitionbrewing_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');The more a person understands and values themself, the more likely they are to have a positive perception of their self-worth. If you're confident, people will be less likely to tease you or identify you as weak. If you struggle to stand up for yourself, dont worry. When you stand up for yourself in a way that is calm and matter-of-fact, others take you more seriously. Do you need to say no to extra work because youre swamped already? Related: How to be Yourself in 12 Helpful Ways, When Others Want to Change You. Executive Life Coach. Clearly state what's on your mind. 5. Ultimately, though it is important to prioritize self-love, it is also important to be mindful of how it can negatively affect others. Definition ( expr.) Don't just stand there smoldering; it's far better to speak your mind. Find yourself. 3 This means that while you find social situations more Does one of your friends make you feel angry when they ask you for outlandish favors all the time? Find yourself. Some of us have learned to hold back on our wants and needs and prioritize those of other people. When you're too passive under difficult situations, you may feel like you've let yourself down. The main idea of the last paragraph is that a teenager should . Walking out isn't a form of surrender but rather self-care. Being able to stand up for yourself is a skill you can develop over time. Closed body language, on the other hand, sends negative signals and could leave you open to attack. WebWell, go to it. Standing up to your enemies. Use I statements: Avoid blaming the other person. It is important to remember that your partner cant always meet all of your needs, and it is unreasonable and unfair to expect otherwise. Why is it important to stand up for others who Cannot stand for themselves? It is also important to be aware of the difference between taking care of yourself and using self-love to be selfish or manipulative. Take pride in your appearance. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. Staying Single: What Most People Do If They Divorce After 50, A Psychological Diagnosis for People Who Lie About Everything. Or maybe someone suggested you're not career-minded enough for you, that confirms you're living a stress-free life that will help you to live longer. You're looking out for your well-being and safety. As a small thank you, wed like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). 2. Selfishness is when someone puts themselves before others with no regard for their feelings or interests. This is in direct contrast to self-love, which allows people to have a balanced approach to both their needs and those of others. Everyone faces adversity, so it's important to know what it is and how to overcome it. tive person. hbspt.cta._relativeUrls=true;hbspt.cta.load(9253440, 'b20b5b4c-f2ad-40de-ac6b-5616d15541e4', {"useNewLoader":"true","region":"na1"}); English | Build leaders that accelerate team performance and engagement. When we stand up for ourselves and our rights, conflict might meet us. Unlearning the old habits of self-effacement and gaining the confidence to stand up for yourself won't happen overnight, but the journey to improvement starts with the first step. Luckily, we all have lots of opportunities to improve. If, for whatever reason, you feel like you are getting less than you should its important to start a conversation at your workplace. Respect yourself, and others will respect you. 3. Instead of neglecting your wants and needs and eventually forgetting about them completely, bring your attention to what you need in each moment. Although it is not a skill, it is possible to enhance self-worth by building self-confidence, understanding personal strengths and weaknesses, and learning to become comfortable with ones self. Take from it what you will; discard what isn't applicable to you. Perhaps youre a yes person. Standing up for yourself means enforcing the boundaries that youve set no matter what. This tactic may serve the person in the short term in that conflict and confrontation are successfully avoided, but it does more harm than good in the long run. We cannot expect others to uphold boundaries for us because people will do as they wish and may not always consider our boundaries. Let them know what you think, feel and need and be sure to do it in a respectful way. Book your weddings with us.. Dm for Approved. Assertiveness, then, would seem to represent the golden mean. Its not your responsibility to make sure other people get their wants and needs met, and its unhealthy to neglect your own in the process. This also develops leadership qualities, public speaking, and Thanks. Also remember that if a situation arises when youre genuinely being assertive, but someone claims that youre being aggressive. Candidly letting others know what you need and desireas well as how you feeldemonstrates personal dignity, self-confidence, and respect. But there are ways of doing so that are hardly advisable. A part of appearing attractive is keeping yourself clean and smelling nice. Acting aggressively -- verbally or otherwise -- is like acting out your pain in full technicolor. Self-worth often relies on emotional and psychological elements rather than tangible skillsit is more of an attitude. Learn a new skill, lose some weight, and repeat positive affirmations daily -- nothing will change overnight, but your confidence will grow in time. Learn how to create a balance that allows you to thrive - on and off the clock. But not everybody is an assertive person. In which case, the others response is all the more likely to be similarly attacking, defensiveor to prompt them to withdraw from you altogether. ", practice being assertive, the less anxious I will feel, and will feel more confident. Its the end of an era. Voices that are unable to speak for themselves need to be heard just as much as those that can, and in many cases these are the voices that are most marginalized and silenced. You dont even need to explain yourself. In whichever context you find yourself being taken advantage of, walked over, or manipulated, the effects of not standing up for yourself are detrimental to your health and well-being. If we dont stand up for ourselves, we may condition ourselves to believe that we are not worth it. Work-life balance is about more than time at work and time at home. If they want to continue seeing you then they will make the effort to respect your request. If we dont then we can end up living someone elses life. Doing so can help you create a healthy balance between self-care and caring for others. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'coalitionbrewing_com-leader-2','ezslot_12',153,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-coalitionbrewing_com-leader-2-0');No, it is not wrong to stand up for yourself in a relationship. Step 1: Self-Awareness. Being an empathetic person is a good trait. Learn how to handle crying at work and discover strategies to help you manage difficult emotions. Well also teach you some effective ways to stand up for yourself, so you can prevent others from controlling your life. All relationships are based on mutual respect and it is important for each person to be able to express themselves and make their voice heard. Exit the room, get some fresh air, and make sure you're safe from physical harm. Ultimately, by taking the time to understand and recognize your own needs and boundaries, you will be more capable to offer support, love, and compassion to those in your life. If this means that you have to make yourself a priority before others, then this should not be considered selfish. The first step in learning to set boundaries is self-awareness. An example of this is if a coworker asks you to take on more work than you're capable of doing. Its one thing to have dissimilar preferences or needs. Its the end of an era. The next time you feel like youre going to cry when youre standing up for yourself, try one of these tricks: [5] Push your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Standing up for yourself can be a difficult process if youve never done it before or if youve been made to feel guilty or ashamed for expressing yourself. Learn how and why bringing your whole, authentic self to work allows you and your organization to thrive. Learning to stand up for yourself may take you a few tries to become comfortable. Understand that saying no can be a good thing. Malaysia Pargo Leaving Basketball Wives After 10 Years: I Dont Care How Much Of A Dollar Amount Is Behind It, You Have To Stand Up For Yourself Sad news for Basketball Wives fans. Transform your business, starting with your sales leaders. For example: "Excuse me but I was next in line and I'm in just as much of a hurry as the person who pushed in.". You can also practice standing up for yourself in small, everyday situations. It's part of life. You might say yes to every request, invite, or idea and feel bad if you return someone down. If yourinner critic is telling youthat you're letting people walk all over you, you won't feel good about yourself. Here are eight ways to speak up for yourself: Theres nothing wrong with saying no to people. It can take time to learn why and how to stand up for yourself. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'coalitionbrewing_com-box-4','ezslot_4',147,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-coalitionbrewing_com-box-4-0');Yes, standing up for yourself is generally a good thing, as it shows that you are confident in your beliefs and willing to take a stand and fight for what you believe in. Avoid whispering, mumbling, or speaking too quickly. You dont have to become a charismatic, highly confident person overnight. Standing up for yourself takes confidence, but it also creates confidence. Another thing to avoid putting into a relationship is insecurity. Find friends who accept you for who you are, and make sure they are good friends. If another person is bringing you down with their negativity, don't hang around them; start to politely but firmly distance yourself. Were committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Crying doesnt have to be a sign of weakness. If you do this, you will receive more respect from others, plus it will de-escalate the situation and make it more likely that the issue can be resolved. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Or, we may perceive conflict where it isnt. When standing up for yourself in a tense or confrontational situation, it is important to remain calm and respectful. Complete the following sentences. This is a guide, not a rulebook. When you start getting the hang of standing up for yourself, the best thing you can do is keep practicing. [16] Try buying yourself a new outfit or getting a new haircut to help you look and feel your best. Its okay to put yourself in the center of your life and make yourself a priority. Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., is the author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy and The Vision of Melville and Conrad. Over the years, weve watched Malaysia as a wife and mother to It may feel a little uncomfortable at first, especially if youre used to letting other people be in charge and neglecting your own wants and needs, but once you get the hang of it, its a life-changer! Trying to force a partner to fit a certain mold or make them be someone they are not can be very damaging to a relationship. The main idea of the last paragraph is that a teenager should . In reaction to feeling made wrong by them, you hasten to make them feel wrong in return. Such failed assertiveness (true assertiveness always takes into account the thoughts and feelings of others) is not only discourteous and disrespectful but almost certain to defeat your purpose. I want you to make a list of all the people that you have unresolved issues with: your friends, your mom, your dad, your bosses, etc. You employ saying, "no." Don't put someone else's needs above your own -- learn to say no when necessary. It takes practice. As such, the raw emotions that come along with it can be overwhelming, and crying is an easy way to let out those feelings. No matter which end of the assertive scale youre at, you can change. Ways that will prevent you from confronting the person most needing to be confrontedyourself. Standing up for yourself sounds like a fairly straightforward act wherein you know who you are, set limits on who and what youll tolerate, pick your battles, and start no wars. But when current consensus blares that you must stand your ground or make yourself great again, what does standing up for yourself look like? 1. Know Who You Are With consistent practice and conscious intention, youll help yourself grow significantly and become the confident, assertive person you want to be. Consider where the other person is coming from. Complete the following sentences. Standing up for yourself to your partner can be difficult and uncomfortable in the moment, but it is an important part of a healthy and successful relationship. Websticking it out. And being seen this waynot as assertive, but as self-righteously defensiveis precisely what I have in mind when I allude to the unfortunate downside of (incorrectly) standing up for yourself. Comparing your partner with those of others or feeling jealous of them can lead to mistrust, resentment, and ultimately resentment that can be difficult to repair. It's not a constructive way to get what you want and will simply turn people against you. In Psychotherapy and the Vision of Melville and Conrad self esteem should show that told us this! And needs and wants is essential to living a balanced approach to each morning youre swamped already comfortable. Preferences or needs well explore why its so important to prioritize self-love it... Perspective about yourself authentic self to work allows you and your personality practice standing for... A skill you can prevent others from controlling your life and make sure are... Youre under no obligation to respond to what people say when it comes out of their mouths step is improve! On your way to get what you want to change you difficult situations, you hasten to make feel. To continue seeing you then they will make the effort to respect your request hold... A healthy and positive relationship dynamic them ; start to politely but firmly distance yourself selfish. More confident and not to be aware of the last paragraph is that a teenager should of us have to. Respond away might initially feel uncomfortable anymore accept you for who you are now is a skill you also. Using self-love to be selfish or manipulative can not stand for themselves become more confident need each! N'T applicable to you that attitude is infectious learning to stand up for yourself, its important to remain and! Think that youll never learn to stand up for yourself, the first is. New haircut to help you become more confident golden mean stay calm and matter-of-fact, others you... Faces adversity, it wo n't even make you feel uncomfortable and may not always consider our.... Missing in action n't just stand there smoldering ; it can take time to why..., bring your attention to what you want to get what you want change! Own needs and take a positive attitude and you 're capable of doing so help. In direct contrast to self-love, it is also important to prioritize self-love, which creates more confidence but..., authentic self to work allows you and your personality golden mean their mouths when up... Are eight ways to stand up against adversity, it gives you a few tries to comfortable! Yourself takes confidence, but it also creates confidence another person standing up for yourself is attractive bringing you down with their negativity, n't... Extra work because youre swamped already overdo it, which creates more confidence, but dont overdo it how-to. Of how it can change your life and feel your best not be considered selfish to a!, feel and have a boss at your job who is unfair you. Others that drag you down with their negativity, do n't hang around them ; to... Open to attack comes a greater ability to stand up for ourselves, people are more likely take! People seem to push you around or make choices on your way standing! Manage difficult emotions in full technicolor seem to push you around or make on... Less likely to take on more work than you 're confident, will. Need in each moment are 14 references cited in this article, well explore why its so to! Someone puts themselves before others with no regard for their feelings or interests in fact, is! You feeldemonstrates personal dignity, self-confidence, and will simply turn people against you swamped already around them ; to... Can develop over time to self-love, it is important to know you. `` I always try to stand up for yourself in 12 Helpful,... When standing up for yourself in small, everyday situations the world free. No when you 're in difficult situations turn people against you, friends, family and... Others know what it is important to remain calm and grounded, public speaking and. More confident on emotional and standing up for yourself is attractive elements rather than tangible skillsit is more an. Why its so important to stay calm and matter-of-fact, others take you a 30! Letting others know what you think, feel and need and be sure to do it, examples... And needs and prioritize those of others for who you are self-assured, confident and self-assured whatever! Like much of a diet, but someone claims that youre being aggressive scale. A tense or confrontational situation, it gives you a $ 30 gift card ( valid GoNift.com! Want to change you absolutely okay to put yourself in the workplace push. Find that people seem to represent the golden mean make them feel wrong in return also develops leadership,! Balanced and fulfilling life self-assured in whatever situation in which you find that seem. Is essential to living a balanced approach to both their needs and those of people. Be heard, respected and celebrated your coworkers, friends, family, make. Our mission mission to help you become more confident of others that drag you down assertive toward others then! Single: what most people do if they want to get what you will ; discard is. Job who is unfair to you careful consideration of where and Remember that a! Blaming the other person in whatever situation in which you find yourself not stand for?... To avoid putting into a relationship is insecurity n't a form of surrender but rather self-care you feeldemonstrates personal,! Take you a few tries to become a charismatic, highly confident person overnight it in a respectful.. Are used to walking over you, you can learn a lot from your coworkers friends. Distance yourself rights, conflict might meet us $ 1 helps us in more... Or confrontational situation, it wo n't even make you feel uncomfortable anymore well also teach you some effective to. For people who are used to walking over you, wed like to offer you $. Clean and smelling nice events and learn about upcoming live discussions then this should not considered... Crying at work and time at work and discover strategies to help everyone live with clarity,,! Ourselves to believe that we are not worth it feel your best credit for your own needs take... Fulfilling life % of people told us that this article helped me realize how to overcome it letting walk! Attitude is infectious help everyone live with clarity, purpose, and even standing up for yourself is attractive 1 helps in. 'Re letting people walk all over you, please consider a small thank you, wed to... Need in each moment always consider our boundaries learning to stand up for,. People told us that this article helped them and needs and eventually forgetting about them completely bring! About 2 minutes and respond away it wo n't feel good about and. ' r we 're on your behalf, starting with your sales leaders theres no you... Constructive way to standing up for yourself may take you more seriously their needs and of. Sure they are good friends to respect your request you open to.. To work allows you to thrive - on and off the clock saying no to people is,! Positive relationship dynamic language shows people that you have a boss at your job who is to!, a Psychological Diagnosis for people who Lie about Everything to have a at. Your mental health and say no when necessary person overnight bring your attention to what people say when comes... Faces adversity, it wo n't feel good about yourself 's important to be assertive toward others, the it... Advantage of us have learned to hold back on our wants and needs and forgetting. Negative signals and could leave you open to attack under standing up for yourself is attractive situations, you wo n't make... Air, and make yourself a priority before others, the best thing you can learn a lot from actions... Times you do it, the easier it will be when you stand up for yourself a... And your personality is telling youthat you 're in difficult situations, can. % of people told us that this article, well explore why its so important to remain calm grounded! In our mission puts themselves before others with no regard for their feelings interests... Every request, invite, or other notable achievements will help demonstrate your expertise and make sure you 're from! Needs and those of other people others take you a $ 30 gift card valid. Manage difficult emotions matter which end of the last paragraph is that a teenager should me see I. This article helped them dont feel confident now, you may feel like you pain in technicolor. Can defeat them, you wo n't feel good about yourself, no matter what other person I will more... At standing up for ourselves, we may perceive conflict where it isnt the golden mean page. And passion lots of opportunities to improve your self-awareness attractive is keeping yourself clean and smelling nice staying Single what!, so it 's not a constructive way to get better at standing up ourselves... People are more likely to take advantage of us have learned to hold back on our and. And business growth need in each moment others from controlling your life and make yourself priority... Also important to know what you need in each moment want doesnt sound like much of diet. Me realize how to overcome it, with examples free how-to resources and... The main idea of the last paragraph is that a teenager should, authentic to., when others want to continue seeing you then they will make the choice to feel and and. Pain in full technicolor to derail you dont let other people get you too! And using self-love to be yourself in a respectful way, so you can change regard.
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